Conversations: Reassurance
by winter s. jameson
Summary: Just a little conversation between two friends that leads to both of them feeling better about some previously unspoken concerns...


_Here's installment number four of my Conversations series. Hope you're all still having fun on this ride! Enjoy the latest chapter, and feel free to let me know what you think!_

* * *

"Making a few last-minute adjustments?"

"Yeah. Helps settle the nerves."

"Nerves? Surely you aren't nervous about this."

"Why not? There's a lot of competition."

"I would imagine you are correct. I suppose I only see your effort and know that you'll earn any awards you should be given. You have every reason to be proud."

A small chuckle. "I haven't won anything yet. In fact..." Pause. "I need to get going. I need to sign in before nine."

"Of course." A deep breath. "Would you object to my accompanying you?"

Long pause. "Are you sure you want to? I didn't think this was your thing."

"I have not exactly attended one of these events before. I may enjoy it. At the very least you will, and that will be enough."

The hood of the white converted hearse closed with a clang. The black man who had been under it turned completely around, grabbing a rag and wiping his hands as he did so. "Egon, I'd want you to have a good time, too. Are you sure?" he asked again.

The tall blond man with the distinctive hairstyle smiled tentatively. "I am sure, Winston. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to join you at the car show. Is that all right?"

Winston blinked a few times before responding. "Yeah, Egon. I don't mind. But didn't you have some sort of experiment you were going to be working on today?"

"It's nothing that can't wait another day. Peter has been repeatedly informing me I should get out of the lab lately, and I decided to take his advice." Egon gave a small smile of fondness for the exasperating psychologist.

Winston returned it, chuckling. "But you aren't going to tell him, am I right?"

"I believe we would all like to be able to breathe for the next week. Inflating his ego like that would be detrimental to that most necessary of bodily functions. Shall we be going?" He gestured to the car.

The older man continued to chuckle, shaking his head as he headed for the driver side door. "You two are something else, you know that? Just something else." They both climbed into the car and left the firehouse for the arena where the car show was being held that day. 

* * *

"Winston, are you sure you wouldn't wish to stay with Ecto?" Egon asked later as the two Ghostbusters wandered around the show looking at the different entries. "I know how cautious you are with her around us, and anything could happen here before the judging."

"I know what the three of you are like so I have to be cautious," Winston retorted. "I also know the kinds of things we run into on a regular basis and what those things do to vinyl and upholstery. You guys kind of ignore that."

Egon nodded. "So you remind us. Only fair, I suppose. Ray and Peter _can_ be quite careless in that regard."

The twinkle in his companion's pale blue eyes told the black man the omission of a certain absent-minded physicist was quite deliberate, but he couldn't let that pass without comment. "You may not be careless, m'man, but you sure can forget where you are at any given point in time if something fascinates you." Winston grinned. "Remember when you nearly fell off the pier and into the pile of garbage on the waiting scow a couple of months ago? If Peter hadn't grabbed you by the scruff of the neck getting Ecto ready for this show would have been nearly impossible. And all for an odd fluctuation of the readings on the PKE meter. You astound me sometimes, Egon."

"I feel it imperative to mention the paint incident, Winston. There are times when even you abuse your, um, baby." The corners of the tall man's lips twitched.

"How was I supposed to know my nephew was going to use my jumpsuit as a canvas for his finger painting?" the black man said a touch defensively.

"And then there was the time with the mud-covered boots..."

"I was pissed off at Peter. You can't say you haven't done something you never intended to do when that man drives you around the bend."

"True enough. My senior year physics lab experiment..." Egon shuddered at the memory of _that_ fiasco. "I am fortunate that Doctor Graves believed Peter's story about it being the victim of a fraternity prank gone wrong and allowed me to develop an alternative project."

"He didn't actually think that would get him off the hook with you, did he?" Winston asked with a small smile.

"That's not why he did it, Winston. I don't believe he ever knew why the device... malfunctioned in the first place. He distracted me with something he said, and left the lab immediately after saying it. He had come back to the physics building to see why I hadn't met him at the movie theater like I had said I would when he happened across the lecture I was receiving from Doctor Graves about responsible behavior in the laboratory. Peter jumped in at that point and told him that I was quite responsible in the lab - with a subtle wink in my direction of course - and that one of his fraternity brothers had a project that a rival house had been trying to sabotage for a couple of weeks. He supposed they must have doctored _my_ project by mistake."

"And this Doctor Graves bought it?"

The blond man smiled fondly in remembrance. "Peter, as you know, can be quite convincing. He even pointed out his fraternity brother's project and what could happen if it were tampered with. It didn't take any more than that to convince Doctor Graves." He came back to the present with a small shake of the head, his smile fading away. "I must apologize, Winston. I'm sure you must get tired of hearing about our exploits in college."

Winston blinked in surprise, not just at the statement itself, but at the slight quiver of uncertainty behind it. "Hey, Egon, it doesn't bother me. It was a good time for you guys. It's only natural you're going to talk about it when something reminds you of it." He grinned.

Egon didn't return the expression. "That may be so, but it is unconscionable of us in the extreme to talk so extensively about a time in which you weren't with us. The last thing I would wish is that you would believe you are not a valued and indispensable part of our family."

That stopped the black man in his tracks. "Egon, are you kidding? Do you really think I believe that in the slightest?"

The taller man looked as though he were struggling with something. "I'm not sure I would have said I thought you believed that exactly. I merely wish to avoid the circumstances in which you would have cause to believe that."

"You are an incredible piece of work, Egon," Winston said slowly, shaking his head. "What made you think I'd ever think that way? You guys are like my brothers. And I know the feeling's mutual. What's to doubt?"

"I've noticed you've seemed a bit... distant lately. And from my estimates that behavior began approximately at the same time the three of us received our invitations to the Columbia University Alumni Banquet. We have been delving into the past more often than normal since then, I'm sure." The blond looked slightly apologetic.

Winston shook his head. "Egon, it's not that, I promise. It's something else. Nothing to do with you guys."

"You're certain?"

"Completely. When you got those invitations happened to coincide with the anniversary of my cousin Jackson's death. He was walking across a street when he got hit by a car trying to get away from the police in a high speed chase and was killed instantly. That was when we were both teenagers. We were real tight. I always get a little depressed around that time every year. Sorry I made you think it was you." The older man reached out a hand and clapped the taller man on the shoulder. "That help any, homeboy?" he asked with a smile.

Egon returned it with a small one of his own. "Yes, it does. Although I still believe we speak of our college days far too frequently."

"Let me explain something to you, Egon," Winston began seriously, leading him away from the crowd circulating around the vintage cars. "It's never bothered me that the three of you talk about your college days as much as you do. And it's for the same reason you were thinking it _would_ bother me. I wasn't lucky enough to know you crazy scientists while you were getting those fancy degrees and that higher education. When I walked in the door at Ghostbuster Central, I saw right away that you guys were tight, as tight as Jackson and I had always been before the accident, as tight as some of the guys were while I was in Vietnam. For a while there I wasn't sure if I could make a place for myself. But somehow you guys were able to open up your circle and let me in.

"When you tell me those stories about the wild and crazy things that happened before I knew you, it's like you're letting me live it with you while you relive it yourselves. You're including me in the lives you shared before I came along. I get to see the boys you used to be that grew up into the men I know today. Everything adds up to a good thing in my book."

Pale blond brows furrowed. "So it doesn't bother you at all when we go on about Columbia?" Egon asked, still a bit confused.

Winston grinned. "Nope, not in the least. Well, when you've gone on about the topic for hours without a break it gets on my nerves, but I think the same thing when anybody goes on that long about anything. Get this straight, Egon. Sharing those moments with me makes me feel _included_ not excluded. And I get to understand you all better in the bargain. Win-win situation, if you ask me."

"Indeed," the physicist murmured, a small smile lighting his expression.

They both glanced up as the arena's PA system crackled to life and an announcement was made that the judging was about to begin. "Well, that's our cue," Winston said with a slightly nervous grin. "Let's get back to Ecto and see what they have to say."

Egon felt a welcome warmth flow over him at his companion's inclusion of him in a project that was normally reserved for the black man alone. "Yes, let's." The two of them quickly returned to the beloved hearse. 

* * *

"So now we merely need to wait, is that correct?" Egon asked as the two Ghostbusters were again drifting amongst the other vehicles after the judges had withdrawn to make their decisions.

"Yeah, that's about it." Winston couldn't hold back a grin. "This is the worst part. I keep imagining everything I could have done differently to make her look better."

Pale blue eyes grew large behind the red-rimmed glasses. "I hope you aren't truly second guessing yourself, Winston. You've done an outstanding job, especially considering the obstacles you are forced to endure with our profession."

"No, no, I'm all right," the muscular man replied through a chuckle. "Just post-judging jitters. They'll go away once I hear the results. Thanks, by the way," he said with a gesture to a small grease stain on the other man's light grey slacks. "I can't believe I missed that."

Egon smiled, glancing down briefly at the dark mark. "I distracted you earlier with my request. It's perfectly understandable. And since I was close enough to brush against the bumper without looking suspicious, I took advantage of the situation. Um, this _will_ wash out, correct?" The final question was a bit wary.

Winston laughed. "That I can guarantee. I get grease on my clothes all the time, remember? I know just the stuff to get it out."

"That is a relief. I recently purchased these pants."

They walked on in companionable silence for a while before Winston glanced over at the blond who was currently studying the intricate design that had been painted along the side of a 1967 Ford Mustang. "Egon, what brought on the guilt number before? I'm not used to you sounding unsure about anything."

The pair stopped moving, and Egon turned his gaze to meet the dark brown one of his friend. "I _am_ human, Winston. Even I have periods of insecurity."

"Hey, I'm well aware of the fact that you're human. It just doesn't seem like you to question me like that."

"I suppose it isn't." The taller man's facial expression grew thoughtful and he sighed. "When you first joined us, I must admit that I wasn't sure how to deal with you. You were not a scientist - although your area of expertise was very valuable and quite needed - and I could see that my dialogue was too technical for you to follow. As Peter could tell you, I have always had trouble 'toning down' my vocabulary so the layman can understand what I'm trying to convey."

Winston smiled. "I figured that out all on my own, homeboy."

Egon returned it briefly. "I have never doubted your intelligence, Winston. Please be assured of that. I saw how quickly you comprehended the concepts I was discussing when Ray would, as Peter would say, translate, although the idea of ghosts and the supernatural still was difficult for you to swallow."

"That's an understatement."

"I could see you were willing to learn," the other man continued, "and that you had an enormous amount of common sense. You provided a dose of reality and an anchor for when my theories became more esoteric than usual. You became my friend in a quiet, unassuming way, one I didn't even realize had occurred until we were in the middle of rebuilding the firehall and you took that nasty tumble off that ladder. When I realized how frightened I had been for you until you finally responded, I knew how much I cared for you and how much of a place you had in my life.

"But I didn't see how well we would truly get along. Ray and Peter seemed much more able to get along with you. I have never been what you could call a people person. I was more pleased than you could know when I found you enjoyed a good game of chess; it was a concrete example of something we had in common. I have slowly come to understand that we have a connection that I cannot always put into words, but that I value just as highly as the ones I share with Ray, Peter, and Janine. Every now and again, however, I need reassurance that it goes both ways - not because of any doubt of you, but of my own abilities to continue it."

Dark brown eyes blinked in utter surprise. "You need reassurance, huh?" He waited for the other man's nod. "Well, let me see if I can find the words you can't." He gave a brief chuckle. "This'll be a first. I was never expecting this day to come."

The black man took a deep breath and continued. "When I first met you, I saw someone who was wrapped up in his mind and what he could do with it. I've always been a more physical person. I appreciated your brains, though, and it didn't take long to realize that there was a deeper man than what I could see with a first glance.

"I became friends with you because you have a wicked sense of humor, dry and subtle, and because even though you know how intelligent you are and are extremely proud of that fact, you can still see and appreciate intelligence in someone else without feeling threatened. You have a strong moral code and a deep sense of loyalty. I can depend on you no matter what. You never saw me as anything other than an equal and always treated me as such."

Winston paused for a moment to put a few thoughts in order, and he couldn't help but grin at the way Egon watched him carefully, obviously very interested in hearing the rest of what he had to say. "I do have to admit, though, that I wasn't sure about our friendship either, not in the beginning. Ray and I had a few more things obviously in common, and Pete and I are just a lot alike. But then you trusted me with some mundane but important tasks, and I was told the story of how you won a chess tournament at Columbia your senior year. In other words, I got to spend time with you that wasn't exactly work related." He smiled gently at the fond memories.

"You know what I found out? You and I think a lot alike. Pete and Ray reason things out intuitively, but you and I tend to use logic to come up with our answers. That's how I solve those mysteries the way I do. I remember a lot of little details that end up telling me logically who the culprit is. And while I don't always understand the words you use, I can usually understand where you're going with a discussion. It's a matter of understanding. We understand each other, and we appreciate that understanding. We value it. I think that's what makes us the great friends that we are."

Egon frowned as he considered it. "I believe I see your point, Winston, and you're correct. It's easy for us to understand how the other thinks. We don't even have to consider it; it just is. Perhaps that is why I have had trouble defining it for myself."

The older man laughed. "I think it was just too simple. You're used to dealing with the enigmas that are Peter Venkman and Raymond Stantz."

The blond chuckled in response. "That must be it. I'm too accustomed to complex problems. Thank you for reassuring me, Winston. I greatly appreciate it."

"You did your own bit of reassuring, big guy. There are times I wonder if I'm doing enough to make you feel like I consider you just as much my brother as the other two, and if you've been that worried, I guess I have. But next time, let's talk it out instead of worrying about it. We'll both feel better in the long run." He clapped the taller man on the shoulder.

"And it's infinitely more logical." The two of them laughed and they continued their stroll. 

* * *

Winston pulled Ecto-1 into the garage later that day to find an empty receptionist desk and a quiet firehouse. "Wonder where everybody went?" he asked as he slid out of the car and shut the driver's side door.

"I'd say the only thing I could be certain of is that they didn't go on a bust, but with Janine gone, that's anything but a certainty." Egon frowned as he closed his own door and began walking toward the absent secretary's chair.

"So did you have fun today?" the black man asked as he joined his colleague near the row of filing cabinets that separated the reception area from Peter's office behind it.

The physicist smiled. "I must admit that I did. I also learned a lot as well. Thank you again, Winston. What you said meant a lot to me."

"Just remember I meant every word. That includes Columbia stories."

To Winston's surprise, Egon took another step back and crossed his arms over his chest, all the while his lips turning up slightly in the wicked way that foretold of a marvelous zinger. "Speaking of Columbia stories, have I ever told you of the time that Peter was forced to babysit for the thirteen children of one of his professors - all but one under the age of ten - in the psychology lab as part of a department-wide experiment?"

"You do realize that paybacks are a bitch, don't you, Spengs?" a slightly muffled voice responded from the office behind them before Winston could reply.

"Well, if you will lounge around eavesdropping..." Egon turned around and stepped to the side of the cabinets, stopping suddenly before entering through the swinging gate. From over his shoulder, the older Ghostbuster could see Peter sitting at his desk just spitting out a pencil from his mouth. And apparently he'd been using that pencil in an accounting ledger, if the stack of bills to his right, notebook filled with scribbled calculations to his left, and last year's books in front of the lined book directly before him were any indication.

"Eavesdropping? I don't think so. Is it my fault you decided to have a conversation where I could hear you?" Brown brows rose as he realized he'd gotten his usual opponent in the battle of wits that went on daily around the converted firehall - without even trying. "You weren't expecting me to be working, were you?" he asked gleefully.

Egon stared at him for a long moment, his eyes moving from the pile of paperwork to the smug man behind the desk. "It's a Saturday. You don't work on Saturdays."

"I do when it's important. Just because you don't see me do it doesn't mean it doesn't happen."

"Are you bothering him?" a sharp, feminine voice with a distinctive Brooklyn accent demanded from behind them. "I just got him to sit down and work on that. I need the time to enter the numbers before the end of the month." Janine stepped around the two flabbergasted men and moved over to the desk. "Your batteries, oh demanding one. Now you can stop swearing at your calculator."

Winston just laughed. "What do you know? It's true. I had to see it to believe it, Pete." Peter stuck out his tongue at him.

"I thought I heard you guys," another voice, this one bouncy and full of excitement, called out from behind them. "So how'd Ecto do at the show?"

Egon and Winston turned around to face Ray, who had come up from the basement, allowing Peter and Janine to see him as well. "Well, they say a picture's worth a thousand words," the veteran commented with a shrug, pulling out a framed photograph from a bag he'd been holding.

Ray snatched it up. "Oh, wow, guys, this is great!" He turned it around to show Peter and Janine who were moving over to look for themselves. It was a picture of Ecto-1 in all her glory, with Winston and Egon standing together on the passenger side holding a large blue ribbon between them.

"Now here's one for the rec room wall!" Peter announced, slapping Egon on the shoulder in delight. "Our baby winning first place!"

"She looks great, Winston. You really deserved that award," Janine agreed, grinning as widely as the rest.

"We should celebrate," Ray declared, handing the picture back to Winston. "I've got one last thing to finish up in the basement, and it looks like Peter's got a bit of work to do, too. You guys go up and find a place to hang that and then we'll cook up something special for supper. What do you say?" The engineer's light brown eyes sparkled with excitement.

Winston and Egon shared a contented look. "I don't believe I could think of a better ending to a wonderful day," the blond man said warmly.

"Me either, man," the dark-skinned man agreed, steering the physicist toward the stairs with an arm around his shoulders. "Me either." The other three watched with wide smiles as the two friends made their way up the stairs, calm assurance that all was well blazing true in everyone's hearts. 

The End (for now...)


End file.
